Excuse you?

Excuse me, but did you just call me fat?

Did you just really attempt to squeeze all this into three little letters?

Did you just say that with a sneer and a sniff in my direction?

Did you just call me fat?

Did you just give reference to all this voluptuous with a tone condescension?

Are you sniggering at the fact that I am awesome by the pound?

Did you just attempt to detract from my functional fluff with a scoff?

Not weighing my advantages on cold nights and kidnappings?

Did you just try to deride my jiggle and sway?

While trying to wiggle your way into some semblance of tantalizing movement?

Did you really just call me fat?

Did you just set forth a lyrical travesty?

Speaking badly not just of me but of the hedonistic soul that loves me by the kilo?

Did you just call me fat?

Did you just curl your lip at me, the living definition of vivacious?

With personality wider than my hips, stronger than my thighs, more fruitful than my breasts,

And deeper than the sum of all your opinions?

Did you just call me fat?

Baby you don’t know what you’re missing.