Cry you an ocean

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Cry you an ocean,

Let fall freely from you cheeks

Your own disappointment in yourself

You have struck the path that led you to this

And here you stand again,

Alone,

Unable,

Unwilling,

Incapable…

Underserving.

 

Cry you an ocean,

Littered as far as the horizon with

Every dream you failed to make come true

Every hope you let burn out

Every promise broken

Every compromise swallowed

For the making of peace, that was not yours

Of comfort you cannot feel

Love that will never warm you

Satisfaction you will never know

 

Cry you an ocean

Scream your rage,

Frustration,

Anger,

Hate,

Pity,

All turned inwards

All structures solidified by pain and doctrine,

By routine

And the need to belong

 

Cry you an ocean,

Try to fill the gaping maws with the salt of your spirit

Make barren the fields of your accomplishment

Succumb to all they said you would never be

Could never become

Are not good enough to behold

Submit to circumstance and happenstance

None of your own making

But against which you have stood far too long and far too well

That no one had seen the cracks in your framework

Or perhaps not cracks but furrows dug

By loved one,

One sided love,

 

Cry you an ocean

Mourn things not yet come,

That viewed at a distance through the lenses of your present

Will never come to pass.

Moan a prophesy,

Self fulfilling, generational curses,

Passed from one cruel mother down through generations

That left no scars on your flesh

but made chains around every tomorrow thereafter

 

Cry you an ocean,

know your escape may be futile

From the dark and sunken place,

From the bleak and restless existence

From the grey forever of no better coming

Of no good path spread before you

Because you are truly one,

One among many,

Isolated in desolation

 

Cry you an ocean,

Drown in your own sorrow,

Battle scared and broken,

at the bottom of a bottle,

under the heat of scrutiny,

judgement,

shame.

 

Cry you an ocean,

then let it sweep you away.

 

About Michelle Toussaint

Michelle Toussaint is an Antiguan who has amassed an Associate Degree in Science Education as well as a Diploma in Forensic Science. As such, she Teaches Science in the classroom as well as at home, where she leads...er... co-leads The Tribe. A merry band comprising her Husband-The Chief, herself-The Priestess, and her three precocious children- the tribesmen. When she isn’t mothering, teaching, being a fangirl or feeding her chocolate addiction. She writes two blogs. Random_Michelle and Death By Expectations. View all posts by Michelle Toussaint

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