Disclaimer: I’m not quite sure if this is a poem or a rant. It is all an honest response to a friend’s asking about the experience of adulting and womanhood. I’m not even sure it’s finished but it’s been nagging to be set free so here I go. I may alter it later, or give it a part two but for now…
It’s like nats buzz, buzz, buzzing behind my eye ’cause…
The Bills and the rent and the tides and the gas,
All come due at the same time,
Taxes get bigger and salaries get smaller,
And APUA remains the same,
Water been off so long my laundry has evolved to a state of sentience,
And home-cooked meals have become but a memory,
Which remind me,
What can I cook that doesn’t have green things or crunchy thing,
Or isn’t too sweet, salty, yellow, greasy, fibrous or inflicts the need to chew!!
And two of my tires just blew,
because road works in progress can last a decade!
It’s like a thousand biting insects, squirming and biting and writhing on my skin ’cause…
MOM!!! I need…
Popsicle sticks, wood glue, Manila, toiletries for the homeless,
Pictures of farm animals, types of families, technology, types of transport,
A little red paper scissors from the store over yonder,
Six pounds of candy and the blood of a virgin cow,
born on the 1st of May when Saturn is in retrograde,
and the north wind smells sweet with the blossoms of snow on the mountain,
and the tide is highest at midnight and a lonely mermaid sings a perfect note.
And this Kid is in Kindergarten!!!
The others need Uranium mined from the dark side of the moon
when it faces the earth and Halie’s comet is in orbit.
All screamed impatiently thought the bathroom door,
when all I want to do is pee ALONE!!!!
It’s like some kind of Viscus liquid bubbling, popping and belching where thoughts should be ’cause…
Staffrooms are never quiet,
Kids are never compliant,
and 130 X 4 assignments don’t seem to mark themselves,
much less in time for deadlines for pedagogues set by an admin that sets the workload.
But low IQ is in fashion,
far too many parents are absent or terribly inadequate,
and rape and abuse are acceptable,
if the victim is a child of any kind,
When bruises only get seen by a few,
and these ones only ever want to talk to Teacher.
But Claireview doesn’t take voluntary residents,
and it’s never 5 o’clock when it needs to be,
and nobody takes me seriously,
when I say, Vodka dispensers need to be mandatory in my workplace!!!
It’s Like 4pm traffic with that asshole bus man that doesn’t know what an indicator does and parks to drop off and pick up on the one piece of road that doesn’t have potholes. ‘Cause…
…At the end of the day when you finally reach your sanctum,
You would really like a likkle wink up,
to make you feel like a woman again,
But half dead with exhaustion isn’t appealing, so…
Maybe you should dress up in Butt floss and hooker heels,
and put on one of those contraptions that makes boobs look appealing,
Though why is this needed? When for him droopy boxer drawers will suffice?
When these cool sheets feel too nice for a woman to go anywhere but down…into sleep.